Martha.

Martha is the household's resident diva — small, opinionated, and operating under the firm impression that she is the most interesting creature in any given room.

(She is, more often than not, correct.)

She arrives with conviction, leaves only when ready, and in the meantime registers her position on every available subject — most of which, somehow, lead back to dinner.

She is tuxedo, top to tail, and the tail is considerable. She loves a lap (yours, ideally), holds strong eye contact, and is fond of the sound of her own voice. She is, in every sense, the headliner.